tag:www.squall.nu,2007:/allison/news/3 2007-08-31T18:31:51Z Movable Type 3.31 tag:www.squall.nu,2007:/allison/news//3.51 2007-08-31T18:15:49Z 2007-08-31T18:31:51Z

It was amazing on Sunday to see everyone that came out. No one knew who we were, but their hearts said they needed to go. We had 42 motorcycles that went on the ride; they even allowed Holly and I...

Chris It was amazing on Sunday to see everyone that came out. No one knew who we were, but their hearts said they needed to go. We had 42 motorcycles that went on the ride; they even allowed Holly and I to ride in the "drag truck" so we could be a part of the ride. It lasted around 3 hours, and I saw sites in Kentucky I never knew existed. I can see the allure of just cruising on a motorcycle for hours. When we got back, we had the drawing for the raffles. Longhorn Steakhouse had sent two employees, along with bags of peanuts and free appetizers. A local tatoo parlor gave away around $400 worth of artwork. Local restaraunts donated free meals, spas gave away discounts, it was a great day. But at the same time, it made us really think. Saturday was the day Allison was supposed to come home. Saturday was when Allison was supposed to sleep in her own crib. Saturday was when Allison was going to meet her two dogs and two new kittens. Saturday; so many expectations for that day. It still tears at me, and it always will. I have June and Holly, family, friends, and church to hold on to, but I still feel lonely. I have had several neighbors come up to the house and comment on how my front yard looks. We haven't had alot of rain for a while, and everyone else's yard is brown and dry. My front yard is bright green. After we left the hospital for the final time, we went home. On the porch were several items from Target for the registry. After Tammy took them back for us, we got a gift card. I bought a grill and tools, grass seed, and a sprinkler. I've nursed the yard back from a dry wasteland, cared for it, nurtured it. It feels like as long as I have that, I haven't really lost her. I plan on setting up a small butterfly garden in the backyard with a fountain. I never even knew I could take care of a yard like that. Have I let Allison go? Yes. Have I let the thought of Allison go? Never. tag:www.squall.nu,2007:/allison/news//3.49 2007-08-14T13:15:28Z 2007-08-14T14:24:27Z

It's been two months since her passing, and it has gotten a little easier, but not much. Every once in a while I will backslide and have a few bad minutes, but then it gets better and I go...

Chris It's been two months since her passing, and it has gotten a little easier, but not much. Every once in a while I will backslide and have a few bad minutes, but then it gets better and I go on. I still have small fits of anger where I just want to scream at the top of my lungs what happened and I deserve everything that you can give me, but then reality sets in and I'm not the only one that this has ever happened to. Selfishness is a hard thing to beat, epecially when it is coupled with anger; but thanks to Dan and the others, I have the best help there is. June started school so I have something to keep myself focused on. We went out shopping for school clothes for her on Saturday and ate at CiCi's, a pizza buffet place. We saw one of Allison's flyers on the wall and thanked the manager for letting us put it there. The next thing I knew we were given a few free buffet cards and their marketing manager's contact information. They said that CiCi's has "Benefit Days", where 10% of the receipts turned in would go toward the fund. We might take them up, we might not. There would probably be a lot of work involved, and I don't know if I could handle it. With Karen, Diana, Sheri, and Dan taking care of the event at church, it helps to not be directly invloved and to know that they, and everyone else around, would do anything to help us. tag:www.squall.nu,2007:/allison/news//3.48 2007-08-02T04:49:46Z 2007-08-02T05:00:27Z

I have the official flyer for Allison's Motorcycle Run. Unfortunately I only have the black and white copy, but here it is. Flyer for Benefit for Baby Allison. Please make sure that you contact the church with any questions because...

Holly Flyer for Benefit for Baby Allison. Please make sure that you contact the church with any questions because Chris and I have not arranged ANY of this. Karen and Dan Hillard, Dianna Schwier, and Sheri Bruce have made all the arrangements and would know more what needs to be done than we would. So far there are 70 riders (that I know about, there could be more since I heard the last tally) and donations for the raffles from Texas Road House, Pompillio's, Brewster's (sp?) Ice Cream, and Sableux Salon & Spa. There could be more donators than that but again, I don't know. I'm just trying to get something together to say to all the riders and trying to compose myself. Thanks to all who have volunteered so far. You cannot know how much this means to Chris and me!]]> tag:www.squall.nu,2007:/allison/news//3.46 2007-07-17T01:00:45Z 2007-07-17T01:06:31Z

More info on the charity ride for Allison's Memorial Fund. The date has been changed to August 26 which isn't that huge of a change. The donation price to participate in the ride is $10 or $15 for couples. There's...

Holly More info on the charity ride for Allison's Memorial Fund. The date has been changed to August 26 which isn't that huge of a change. The donation price to participate in the ride is $10 or $15 for couples. There's about 70 riders so far and Karen Hillard and Dianna Schwier, my cousins are putting the ride information in an ad in a motorcycle magazine called Heartbeat and putting a commercial on local cable. It seems to being going good so far with getting money together for her medical bills and gravestone. I couldn't be happier about how really caring and supportive everyone has been. Its been a month now and I'm finding myself crying less, though I still do cry. I get choked up about baby things, like clothes and the like. I know that I am lucky enough to be able to have other children but none will quite be Alli. I miss you so much Baby Girl. Mama loves you. tag:www.squall.nu,2007:/allison/news//3.45 2007-07-09T00:25:00Z 2007-07-09T00:35:47Z

I got a bill from Children's Hospital on Friday and the grand total, minus what insurance was paying for, was $59,002. I about died when I saw it because I thought that was only for her 4 hour stay at...

Holly I got a bill from Children's Hospital on Friday and the grand total, minus what insurance was paying for, was $59,002. I about died when I saw it because I thought that was only for her 4 hour stay at Children's, but there were charges from Good Samaritin too. The bill calls for $1,700 from us, and from what Chris said to me after talking to a co-worker, the most we have to pay out of pocket is $2,000. That's just for Alli's care though. I still have a $900 for my c-section and another $900 bill for my hospital stay. To me that just seems wrong to charge so much. I realize all of the doctors and nurses that care for such precious babies need to be paid, very deservingly so, but it irks me knowing that alot of that money is going to an insurance company somewhere. I don't mean to be petty over money because I would gladly pay anything for how well she was taken care of but it just seems a bit much. As far as grief, I myself am doing somewhat better though the nights are hard because that's when I'd go up to the NICU to see Allison. I miss touching her and holding her terribly but though death feels final when you're still living, I know that one day I will hold her again. Its just hard right now. I pray for all parents of children in NICUs all over because I know just how hard it is. Even when things are going really well you still feel drained from travelling, no matter how far, to see your baby. You just want them home. Just know that if your little one is in the hospital that you and your angel are in my prayers. Just a note, yesterday Alli would have been 33 weeks gestation and today she would have been two whole months old. I miss you Baby Girl. tag:www.squall.nu,2007:/allison/news//3.44 2007-07-03T07:53:23Z 2007-07-03T07:55:57Z

There is going to be a 100 mile motorcycle charity ride for little Allison. Its being organized by our church and a Christian motorcycle association. The date set so far is August 25 which was Alli's due date, though they...

Holly There is going to be a 100 mile motorcycle charity ride for little Allison. Its being organized by our church and a Christian motorcycle association. The date set so far is August 25 which was Alli's due date, though they didn't know it. There's also still going to be a benefit for her Memorial Fund though a date for that has not been set. tag:www.squall.nu,2007:/allison/news//3.43 2007-07-02T15:10:36Z 2007-07-03T07:51:04Z

I found this on a site where you can purchase memorial jewelry. http://www.labelledame.com GOD SAW SHE WAS GETTING TIRED AND A CURE WAS NOT TO BE SO HE PUT HIS ARMS AROUND HER AND WHISPERED "COME WITH ME" WITH TEARFUL...

Chris http://www.labelledame.com GOD SAW SHE WAS GETTING TIRED AND A CURE WAS NOT TO BE SO HE PUT HIS ARMS AROUND HER AND WHISPERED "COME WITH ME" WITH TEARFUL EYS WE WATCHED HER SUFFER AND SAW HER FADE AWAY ALTHOUGHT WE LOVED HER DEARLY, WE COULD NOT MAKE HER STAY. A GOLDEN HEART STOPPED BEATING, HARD WORKING HANDS TO REST. GOD BROKE OUR HEARTS TO PROVE TO US, HE ONLY TAKES THE BEST. ]]> tag:www.squall.nu,2007:/allison/news//3.42 2007-06-26T19:29:30Z 2007-06-26T19:32:51Z

I added all of the rest of the pictures of Allison off of our camera. There's only some left to scan that were taken on Pat's camera. I also added three movies of Alli that can be found in the...

Holly I added all of the rest of the pictures of Allison off of our camera. There's only some left to scan that were taken on Pat's camera. I also added three movies of Alli that can be found in the Pictures section. I didn't have the mental energy to add a whole new section for the movies so they will just go there and there they will stay. I still need to add all the rest of her tributes but one thing at a time for me since this is hard to be around her little pictures and things as it is. I love you Baby Girl. You're still Mama's little light and I hope you're having the best time in Heaven. tag:www.squall.nu,2007:/allison/news//3.41 2007-06-25T21:40:00Z 2007-07-03T07:51:45Z

I've decided to get re-baptized at our church. I was raised Roman Catholic, and find nothing wrong with the religion itself, but this church seems to fit my personality more. When I made the announcement every was worried since something...

Chris I've decided to get re-baptized at our church. I was raised Roman Catholic, and find nothing wrong with the religion itself, but this church seems to fit my personality more. When I made the announcement every was worried since something like this usually turns everyone away from God, but it brought me closer. How many people get the chance to say they are the proud father of an angel? tag:www.squall.nu,2007:/allison/news//3.40 2007-06-24T22:01:41Z 2007-06-24T22:04:27Z

Though little Alli is gone, this site will still be updated with the rest of her pictures and poems and such that were written for her and read during her funeral. Thank you to everyone who loved her and prayed...

Holly Though little Alli is gone, this site will still be updated with the rest of her pictures and poems and such that were written for her and read during her funeral. Thank you to everyone who loved her and prayed for her. If you would like to leave comments for us or Lil Bit, there's a Comments link under each post. tag:www.squall.nu,2007:/allison/news//3.38 2007-06-13T15:18:02Z 2007-06-13T15:20:38Z

She had some trouble throughout the night. They turned down her settings to match normal air a little more, and she didn't like it. They have changed her ventilator tube to the next size up early to try to get...

Chris She had some trouble throughout the night. They turned down her settings to match normal air a little more, and she didn't like it. They have changed her ventilator tube to the next size up early to try to get her stable again. Her feeding tube has been placed farther into her digestive tract to stop her from spitting up so much. Right now she is recovering, but very tired. She had a few spells of apnea when we were there, which seeing them is very different from hearing about them. Nothing gets you ready for that. tag:www.squall.nu,2007:/allison/news//3.37 2007-06-12T20:25:29Z 2007-06-12T20:29:33Z

I just got off the phone with the NICU. 1lb 13 ounces. 3 more ounces to go!! It's been decided that when she gets to 1000 grams, 2.2 pounds, that they will try to extubate her. When the breathing tube...

Chris I just got off the phone with the NICU. 1lb 13 ounces. 3 more ounces to go!! It's been decided that when she gets to 1000 grams, 2.2 pounds, that they will try to extubate her. When the breathing tube is out, we will be able to see how well she can breathe on her own, and possibly hear her first cries. If all goes well, she won't have to go back on. But if she does, she will use a larger tube than her previous one. Her skin has healed remarkably well. There is just a small patch left on her back, and that is already dried out and waiting to fall off. tag:www.squall.nu,2007:/allison/news//3.36 2007-06-06T02:34:17Z 2007-06-06T02:37:58Z

She's been changed from feeding 12 mL every 3 hours to a continuous feed that gives on average 4 mL every hour. Feeding like this will allow her to grow, but it won't ever fill her up. She hasn't had...

Chris She's been changed from feeding 12 mL every 3 hours to a continuous feed that gives on average 4 mL every hour. Feeding like this will allow her to grow, but it won't ever fill her up. She hasn't had any seizures since being off of the phenobarb, which is good. tag:www.squall.nu,2007:/allison/news//3.35 2007-06-05T17:05:53Z 2007-06-05T17:07:38Z

Well as of last night, Alli is off of IVs! Hopefully nothing will come up where they need to place another! Now we just need her off the vent and the feeding tube and we'll have a wireless baby. There...

Holly Well as of last night, Alli is off of IVs! Hopefully nothing will come up where they need to place another! Now we just need her off the vent and the feeding tube and we'll have a wireless baby. There are a bunch of new pictures in the NICU section and the Calendar has been updated. tag:www.squall.nu,2007:/allison/news//3.34 2007-06-04T20:07:39Z 2007-06-04T20:11:57Z

Alli's been doing well so far. Today her PICC line started leaking so they removed it. Since she only has a course of antibiotics to finish (she's off needing fluids since she's taking milk now) they are just inserting a...

Holly Alli's been doing well so far. Today her PICC line started leaking so they removed it. Since she only has a course of antibiotics to finish (she's off needing fluids since she's taking milk now) they are just inserting a temporary IV line in her forehead. I know it sounds nasty, but its not an uncommon place to put an IV on a baby. Her weight is holding steady at 1 pound and 8 ounces, so I'm guessing that they might up the calorie supplement in her milk. They did start her on a multivitamin on Saturday so that should help her pack on the pounds! Other than that everything seems to be holding out very well.