Pink Sugar

I just finished all 25 episodes of Peach Girl. I started on a new series called Happy World, purely cause it looked cute. However....O_O its so....wrong XD Its terribly perverted. Not like hentai all out tentacle stuff. Its more modest than that. XD All I can say is go to Anime Suki and download it. Its worth a good laugh and nosebleed. There's only 3 episodes so far, and I don't know if that's all that is subbed or if that is all that were made. I'm thinking its the first one, but I can only hope. XD

The house situation is looking better. Other than me going home at 12:45 am. I just need to slowly adjust. I can't say that I didn't try it. I just suppose that once you live somwhere for a long time its hard to transition. I know that people say you should live together before you get married to get used to each other, but for some reason that seems wrong to me. I know it seems more wrong not to live in the same house as your husband and you love him, but what the hell. I'm still young and I'll get over it. At least he understands me and is letting me handle it without getting paranoid that its anything about him. XD *<3 and grope him*

LOL, I completely revoke my statement about Happy World....its not that modest. Infact I think it was created for teenage boys and dirty old men in Japan....they are everywhere XD I'm onto ep 3 and I hope that I don't start rocking back and forth and crying for my mommy. hehehe

I just have tonight's class and then the final and Thursday! Then no more Mr. Ass Clown. XD I move to Clinical Procedures II after that and since its being taught by Dr. Allgower I won't have any problems and its back to straight A's. School life couldn't get much better at least.

I finished all three eps of Happy World today. O_o ECCCCCCCCCCCHHHHIIIII plzthnxbye. I wish there were more than 3 eps though. It was to say the least VERY entertaining. Funny as hell too. I can't quite decide what series I want to start on next. I tried Akage no Anne since I love all of L.M. Montgomery's works, but it just doesn't have the same feel being an anime. I want something that's silly like Happy World and realistic like Peach Girl. DX I can't find anything to fit that. I'll just have to keep searching.

I'm off to school in about an hour so I'll be trapped there without any form of entertainment other than picking my teacher apart in my head. XD Until 10.....DX

OMFG...I just watched Ebichu....*nosebleed* NOT for family hours DX I think I'll stick to Kokoro Library. Its not only cute its WHOLESOME. Not that I'm a prude, but for goodness sake, after what I just saw. hehehehe It was just WRONG.

As for my regular life, apart from the escape with anime, tomorrow is the last class of US Constitutional Law. The final looks like it will be cake because I think there was a staff meeting and Mr. AssClown found out he's not allowed to fail an entire class. har har. I'm not by any means a dummy, but when I'm faced with things I really don't give a flying flip about then I have a hard time with retention. Not to mention the fact that I was absent a good deal of the first two weeks.

I also found out that I graduate after February, so its not that much longer to go! Then I can either choose to get certified and start a career, or get certified, get a career, and go back for RN. It just really depends on how much time I have babysitting my step daughter and making up for her mother's total and complete lack of sense. Or should I say EGG DONOR. Mother is a name that you earn.

Now I just need to get off the hormone highway and I should have a better emotional state to move totally. I really don't think now, even with diversions, I could move and be happy and not resentful. I just need to be in my safe place for a little longer and be able to properly say goodbye. I think Chris' patience is wearing thin and although I don't blame him I wish that it would hold a little longer for my sake. But that could just be selfish, I don't know.

Enough whining, its time to get back to studying for the most BORING final ever. XD

Finally done with school! Until Monday hehehe. At least that class is over XD I might be offline over hte weekend until Monday. Then someone will pop over to the new house to set up my beloved DSL. I should have enough to do though as far as design and anime are concerned. Hopefully enough to keep my mind busy until this new class starts.

I just realized yesterday the same seiyuu for Ebichu is the seiyuu for Usagi on Sailor Moon.....that is unsettling. M...a...n...k...o O_O

Do you ever wish some situations in your life would just resolve themselves or that you could like go to sleep and when you wake up its all over? That's what's going on in my head now. I realize I need to grow up and take responsibility for things, but I just feel like if I were responsible for something right now that I would seriously make a hash of the entire thing. O_o

I bet Mel Gibson is thinking the same thing....lol, what a douche.

I really feel like I could burst out in tears right now, but at the same time I feel like I'm going to be okay. The confliction of the two is making it harder to cope, being in a new house. I kinda just want to go back home and not have to deal with anything or anyone. I realize that all people go through this feeling at one point or another in their lives, but I just don't understand why its got to be so difficult. How do other people manage to get over it? Is it a question of will? Or mentally being a certain age. I seriously am considering just going back home tonight after school and I know that's wrong. Its just a serious comfort zone. I suppose its worse on me than it should be too because the whole panic disorder thing makes you feel a dire need to be in your "safeplace" and that safe place is in my old home. I just want to curl up in my old bed with all my puppies up there with me and sleep until no one notices that I'm not doing what I should be. I serioulsy wish I could get rid of such irrational thoughts. Its not right or good for me, Chris, or anyone else involved in this. I feel though that any choice I make will effect the lives of the people around me and that's very selfish. I know that they will just take the decision that I make and go on with their lives but I don't quite feel that way when I'm sitting and thinking about it.

Oy, I should just watch Ebichu to make it all better. If I haven't said it before that show is F-ed up. O_o I finished it on Friday I think, and its still hitting me how messed up it was hehehe. I got done with another short series, but the name escapes me. It was cute needless to say. I kind of prefer slice of life style anime to action/adventure style. I don't know why, they just seem more comforting I guess. Don't get me wrong. I love Sailor Moon and Yami no Matsuei, but I really have grown accustomed to things like Peach Girl. ^^

I guess I should get ready for school seeing as its a new class and I'm not studying something that isn't part of my CORE training. XD I get Dr. Allgower tonight too!

I went home tonight to pick some things up and I really didn't want to leave. While driving to the house I have to live in, I realized that I might be scared of commitment. I really truly am in love with idea of it, but the practice doesn't seem to be working out for me. I just don't want anyone depending on me. I want my old room, my old stuff, and what I want the way I want it. I know that that is very immature, but the way that I feel right now, I don't know as to if I care. I think I'd be better off dating for the rest of my life. I believe in marriage, I really do, I just don't feel its for me. I thought it was...I'm not lazy either. The work aspect of it doesn't bother me one bit. I just can't handle the emotional and mental stuff. I don't know. Its like I just want to play and go home when I'm done. Like, okay, I've had fun for tonight, now get your controller and game and go home. See you tomorrow.

I really don't feel like going to a therapist to handle this, but maybe I should. Right now I just want to not be bothered, but that's life and you can't escape no matter how hard you try to pull the covers over your head. DX

I thought I was over how I felt, but I suppose not. I was perfectly fine all this evening and then after getting out of the shower I just burst into tears and wanted desperately to go home. I wonder why people don't talk about how hard moving away from home is. Maybe I just have issues that I don't even know about. O_o

I really just want to love my husband, but separately. I mean, he has his house and I have mine. Of course most married people must think this from time to time, but I mean it from the beginning. I love him DEARLY, but I just want to live and be where I want. I'm not just a silly little flit about that can't make her mind up. I just really think that I do better living on my own, but I like the people I love to still be in reach. I don't know. I don't think any of what I'm saying makes a lick of sense but somehow it all just makes me feel better to get it all out and share it with my friends.

To make matters worse, all my stuff is pretty much moved here. I wish I hadn't have felt so rushed and just left the things that I can't live without at home until I felt ready. I have no one to blame but myself though because Chris seemed to understand how I was feeling but the sheer thought of him bein upset deep down made it hard for me to be away from him while I got myself together. I know personal hygiene items and clothes seem easy enough to move, but over this last week I have moved them back and forth nearly 3 or 4 times. Plus I've been moving my desk and computer back that many times. Something that heavy for someone as lazy as me is like hard. O_o I just think maybe I should leave the desk and make due with the sewing table I have at home. But my desk sexy, its wraps around the entire room. DX I know it seems silly but I'm inbetween feeling okay and totally wanting to fall apart. I really hate being a grown up or at least being the age where people think you should be one. Its the gheyest thing I've ever had to encounter. Why can't life stay simple like when you were a kid and could sleep in your bathing suit and wake up and go straight for the ice cream for breakfast. DX I think adulkts should be able to do that and not get stares or head shakes from other adults. Wow, now I'm totally rambling. Must be the xanax. DX

I might feel better or at least divert the thoughts if I could just get lost in some big project. My externship however does not start until after December sometime, so I'm just going to have to find one for myself. *downloads anime to drown misery in* This stuff is better than a morphine drip. ^^

I'm spending the night at home tonight and that makes me feel content. There's no brat to put up with and I don't have to pick a fight to get out of the house. Go me. I'm seriously thinking of slowly and secretly moving the essentials back so he doesn't freak out. I'm not leaving him, but I do need time to figure out my life and next moves. All I know is my home life is the only thing I'm stressed about right now. Everything else is going just fine. I wish that my life could be all one nice piece. It always seems if I'm not having a good time with professional or school life then my home life is fine and vice versa. Figure it out life, DAMMIT! I suppose other people feel the same way, but its that human nature to isolate yourself and feel like you're the only one ever. Humans are losers too hehehe.

I'm too lazy to title anything right now, so I've converted my entry titles into #s cause I suck. XD Plus if you don't title things in MT it won't generate text to link to the entry but will generate a link name from the first few words you type....ghey O_O

I'm glad that you stopped by. XD I haven't been to the forums in forever. O_o I'm just too busy. I so sporadically update things around here as it is. I'm not lazy at all. I just go into periods of DX too often. I do however find myself infront of my computer more often with free time. I think its because this class is easy and I can finish all my assignments and have time left over. I guess its not so much easy, but easy for ME. Anyway, I'm glad you visited me in my own lil spot of retardation online RinH XD *glomp*

What else, hmm. Oh yeah, I finally got curtains for my house. I know this sounds like, "Well who gives a flying flip....everyone's got window treatments lady....get over it." But we've been getting everything else together that curtains fell to the wayside. And yeah, curtains? Who cares? I have white trash neighbors (well not all, but we do have a street drunk and some people who only look like they have the home that they do cause they're screwing the government over for assistance) and this keeps them from looking in all the time like they seem to do. Now...if the rest of the houses on the street would spontaneously combust, I'd be set. XD Can you tell I dislike my neighbors? Its a beautiful day in the neighborhood folks. *puts on old man sweater like Mr. Rogers*

And so with that I finish this edition to the digest that is my assily fashioned life. By the way, you all must download Atashin'chi. Its like a family appropriate version of Ebichu. Its more crudely drawn like Ebichu and retarded, but not ECCHI or HENTAIesque. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but you know its not everyone's cup o' tea. Anyhow lemme just shut up and you go download it, okies?

Not really a whole ot going on today. I've just been cleaning the house and moving some things out of boxes. I know isn't it sad? We still have stuff in boxes. Not very many though thank God. Other than that I've just been studying and watching more anime. I got my sister totally into Ebichu. She's thinks the anime itself is raunchy but she's totally in love with lil Ebichu XD I should get a hamster and name it that. The only thing though is it won't do my housework for me. DX

I started on the series Rizelmine today XD Its pretty cute, but its a comedy/ecchi, so what do you want. I haven't seen a whole lot of ecchiness except for the opening theme. O_o Other than that its pretty tame. Its about a 15 year old boy who is married by the government to a 12 year old. hehehe every time she cries she blows stuff up because her tears are made of nitro glycerin. XD I expect the whole house will be covered in construction signs by the end of the show. XD

I don't have really anything that great to go over in school tonight. Just the rest of chapter nine which is on emergency healthcare. I suppose it makes sense though because on next Monday and Tuesday we are having CPR and First Aid training from some guy from the Red Cross. The only other biggie I need to get through is learning to hook up an EKG.

Lastly, Chris is going to Philadelphia for an IT conference for work. He leaves on Sunday night and comes back on Tuesday night which will give me, though small, some vacation time to myself. I'll most likely just stay at home and do absolutely nothing because I can. hehehe Being married blows because you feel like your spouse expects you to have done something by the time they come home. PRESSURE. DX I guess once I graduate then I won't feel so obligated to things around the house exclusively. Until then it would look really bad on me if I were home all day and the house was a pigstye. XD

I'm suffering from a bout of insomnia that I think was cause by some 24 hour bug. I just know that my stepdaughter, June, had a fever and felt sick to her stomach this morning and now I feel like I'm burning up. I'm a little sick to my tummy but not a whole lot. O_o Just what I need, a communicable disease the day before I'm set to get CPR certified -_-

I dropped Chris off at the CVG airport today cause he's taking a work related trip to Philadelphia, which I think that I mentioned but how would I know? I don't read my blog. O_o Anyhow, he'll be back on Tuesday so I've gotta do all the crazy childish things that you do when you're home alone before he gets here. Like singing to the top of your lungs, good or bad. I'm sure there are other things that I could think of but my mind is fried with fever XD Delirious aloness.

As for my anime attachment that I've had as of late, I've finished Rizelmine. I retract all comments I made before about it being tame. Once you get past the first season (and there are only two) it gets serious ecchi. It even goes for nipple vision. I always thought that in anime and video games that aren't hentai, you could show boobs but if you showed a nipple on that naked boob, all hell would break loose. Boy have I been educated. And if you don't get what I mean, watch Sailor Moon or play Parasite Eve. You'll get the point. XP

I'm finishing up Binbou Shimai Monogatari which is being released an episode at a time since the whole series is just now being subbed. It isn't ecchi, so bring the whole family XP Its actually very sweet and makes you feel all fuzzy inside XD So yeah, its ghey but in a good way. I'm also starting REC, but I haven't seen enough to give any firm opinion.

Ah, well I should TRY to sleep. I'll just pop some more advil and hope for the best. ^^

Nice to see you again! How long has it been?! I haven't talked to Arian in ages either. -_- My life has been retarded up until now (well it still is but no so much. Kinda more retarded in that good sense XD) so I've lost contact with alot of people. Not because we fought or anything, just that normal fade away thing life tends to do. Anyhow, make sure to email me or something and maybe I could drag my lazy ass onto AIM. XP

I am now officially CPR and first aid certified, so if you aren't breathing or you're choking on something WATCH OUT! XP Other than that in this class I'll be learning to hook up EKG leads. Next class is microbiology and urinalysis. XD It sounds fun but I don't know who's teaching it so it might not pan out exactly like I want it to. I'm applying to the Christ College of Nursing to attend classes for my RN after I graduate for my CMA in January or February. I really hope I get in because Christ Hospital is one of the top hospitals in the country, especially for heart, so if they are doing a medical school, my arse is there. Plus its like maybe 15 or 20 minutes from home. Maybe less cause Covington is right up Cincinnati's ass. XD I just have to make sure that I get day classes and not night because Mt. Auburn isn't the best neighborhood and its probably worse at night. *crosses fingers*

Hmm I've mostly been doing the normal, dul, and ghey housewife stuff, cleaning, cooking, bitching at my husband. Though I have made time between all that to buy FFVII Dirge of Cerberus. I haven't played it yet though because I've been watching too much anime and studying for this class. I finished the series REC and I loved it alot. It was really sweet and a storyline I haven't heard before so it was kind of refreshing. Its only 9 episodes too so you don't have to make a huge commitment or anything. It wasn't cancelled, its just really that short.

My sister Heather is coming in on Sunday too, so I might just save DoC for her to play with me. Her husband Xi was coming down from Boston too, but I think he has too many Harvard-y things to do. He's got a PHD in physics there and he's doing post-doc work. His site is here if you're all interested in NERD things. In the pictures, there are some of Heather XP She's so mean looking all the time hehehehehe

Well, I'm out of things to journal about for the day so I'll be hitting the hay and doing more junk around this house to make it BOX free. O_o