I really feel like I could burst out in tears right now, but at the same time I feel like I'm going to be okay. The confliction of the two is making it harder to cope, being in a new house. I kinda just want to go back home and not have to deal with anything or anyone. I realize that all people go through this feeling at one point or another in their lives, but I just don't understand why its got to be so difficult. How do other people manage to get over it? Is it a question of will? Or mentally being a certain age. I seriously am considering just going back home tonight after school and I know that's wrong. Its just a serious comfort zone. I suppose its worse on me than it should be too because the whole panic disorder thing makes you feel a dire need to be in your "safeplace" and that safe place is in my old home. I just want to curl up in my old bed with all my puppies up there with me and sleep until no one notices that I'm not doing what I should be. I serioulsy wish I could get rid of such irrational thoughts. Its not right or good for me, Chris, or anyone else involved in this. I feel though that any choice I make will effect the lives of the people around me and that's very selfish. I know that they will just take the decision that I make and go on with their lives but I don't quite feel that way when I'm sitting and thinking about it.
Oy, I should just watch Ebichu to make it all better. If I haven't said it before that show is F-ed up. O_o I finished it on Friday I think, and its still hitting me how messed up it was hehehe. I got done with another short series, but the name escapes me. It was cute needless to say. I kind of prefer slice of life style anime to action/adventure style. I don't know why, they just seem more comforting I guess. Don't get me wrong. I love Sailor Moon and Yami no Matsuei, but I really have grown accustomed to things like Peach Girl. ^^
I guess I should get ready for school seeing as its a new class and I'm not studying something that isn't part of my CORE training. XD I get Dr. Allgower tonight too!
